Buzz Bissinger: "Father's Day: A Journey into the Mind & Heart of My Extraordinary Son"
http://thedianerehmshow.org/shows/2012-06-14/buzz-bissinger-fathers-day-journey-mind-heart-my-extraordinary-son
Buzz Bissinger and his son, Zach.
Photo credit Robert L. Smith
Best-selling author Buzz Bissinger has relived the birth of his twin sons for nearly three decades. Gerry came first, weighing just over two pounds. But Zach, born three minutes later, suffered brain damage from a lack of oxygen. Gerry had no serious complications –- he became a teacher and is studying to earn a PhD. Zach bags groceries and will likely do so for the rest of his life. But while Zach accepted his 8-year-old comprehension skills, his father struggled to do the same. Buzz’s youngest twin remained a mystery to him until the two men took a cross-country road trip together. Diane and her guest discuss how he found peace with the fact that his son will never grow up.
Guests
Buzz Bissinger
author of "Friday Night Lights"
Read An Excerpt
Excerpted from FATHER’S DAY: A Journey into the Mind and Heart of My Extraordinary Son by Buzz Bissinger. Copyright © 2012 by H.G. Bissinger. Used by permission of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. All rights reserved.
Comments
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As a special education teacher, I often tell people to think in terms of 30. At the age of 30 you should be done with most if you education or vocational and should have discovered something you want to do for the rest of your life. By this age you are probably settled into your job and/or career. So what do you want for this individual that allows as much independence without being frustrational? When can they settle into an everyday life? School was a large mountain, can your child ever relax and live?
As a sibling of an individual with severe disabilities I have been very grateful for all that my older brother has taught me about the world over the years. For my family, he has significantly shaped our dynamic and has brought us all much closer - from my parents relationship to the relationship I have with my other older brother, as well as shaping who we married and brought into the family as adults. I would say that John, my brother with disabilities, has been the greatest teacher we have all had and will have in life. I would ask other than the level of responsibility that an individual with disabilities brings to all in the family, how has your son been a teacher to shape how you live your life for the better?
As I listen to Mr. Bissinger, memories of my own journey with one of my son's washed over me. Through his childhood years it was reflecting on mothers (parents) in 'less developed' parts of the world who have to cope with special needs kids that gave me the perspective I needed to parent my child. It is love that ultimately allows us to go forward, to find strength when we don't have it, to go past our own ego needs and accept and enjoy our children regardless of who they are. You obviously have given that to him, congratulations.
I found Buzz to be extremely arrogant and cold. He is no inspiration to me.
I echo Kelly's comments. Buzz's comments about success make it clear that he is a product of his class, but that all the education he received never caused him to question what "success" is. When he commented about how sad it was that his son would be working in a grocery store for life I had to wonder how he thought the world would continue as we know it if no one worked in a grocery or drycleaners or retail store or the like. Are those of us who have these jobs merely failures? Seems to be his world view.
How uninformed he is despite the experience he is going through. I feel for Gerry who is clearly seeking the gain his dad's approval though his efforts (and I applaud his dedication. I hope he finds much happiness through his efforts). I found the discussion about Buzz's consideration (threat?) to put Gerry into a program similar to Zach's just because Gerry wasn't performing at the level Buzz thought appropropriate (echoes of his discussion about his Mother's focus) to be most chilling.
Seems to be no learning here for Buzz. I wish both Zach and Gerry the very best.