Trials and Tribulations of Assisted Reproduction
http://thedianerehmshow.org/shows/2012-04-23/trials-and-tribulations-assisted-reproduction
One in eight couples struggles with infertility. Some have medical problems, for others it’s age, and for some couples, the problem is never really identified. Major advances in fertility treatment in the last 30 years have helped many woman have children. But for those struggling with infertility, walking down the street or logging onto Facebook can be an emotionally fraught experience as they are come face to face with other people’s pregnancies and births. For those actively pursuing treatment, success doesn’t always come quickly, and sometimes it doesn’t come at all. Join Susan Page and her panel to discuss the trials and tribulations of assisted reproduction.
Guests
Dr. Paul Gindoff
Professor of Obstetrics & Gynecology at the George Washington University Medical Center and Director of The Fertility & IVF Center at The GW Medical Faculty Associates.
Belle Boggs
Author of "Mattaponi Queen" and the essay "The Art of Waiting," published in the March/April issue of Orion
Barbara Collura
executive director, RESOLVE - the National Infertility Association
Richard Allen
lawyer and writer
Program Highlights
Getting pregnant isn't always easy. For some it can take months or years. Some turn to assisted reproductive technology at a financial cost that can run to thousands of dollars, but the emotional costs can be even higher.
Infertility Is Fairly Common
One in every eight couples of reproductive age experiences some difficulty with fertility, Collura said. That's about 7.3 million Americans. Belle Boggs talked about her own experience with infertility, and she said she never thought it would happen to her. "You go through your life thinking that fertility and child rearing is a given," she said. Dr. Gindoff said infertility can be a challenge emotionally and psychologically, not just physically.
Cost Is A Huge Hurdle
Depending on what state in which someone lives, the cost of treating infertility can be a huge burden. Some insurance companies don't cover infertility treatments at all. "You don't get charged for a cesarean section or for an emergency appendectomy," Collura said. "No one has a 401K set aside for infertility treatments." There are a few states that have state mandates that allow insurance coverage for infertility, but that's less than 10 states, Collura said. Many couples end up spending thousands of dollars for each cycle - or chance to conceive - of IVF.
Having A Family Different From Having a Baby
Dr. Gindoff advises patients that their ultimate goal is usually having a family, which doesn't necessarily have to mean getting pregnant. Other options, of course, may include adoption, surrogacy, etc. "The ultimate goal is having a family and it's been sublimated into 'getting pregnant,' Gindoff said. "And getting pregnant has taken on a mystique and competition of its own, which leads itself to more stress and more psychological issues."
You can read the full transcript here.
Comments
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Diane, I hope you will ask the panelists about the health risks of fertility treatments. I have heard a lot of anecdotes of women who spent years taking shots for IVF and other fertility treatments, only to end up with breast or ovarian cancer. The gynecological oncology nurses who treated my mother-in-law for ovarian cancer said they see this all the time, but that fertility doctors either aren't warning patients, or the women are so desperate to conceive that they don't really understand the consequences. Can the panelists address research or other claims to this effect?
The science in the Orion magazine article that Belle wrote is fascinating. I hope she can she say more about the reproductive biology of any of her favorite animals researched for the article.
I went through 2 rounds of IVF, which were preceeded by several years of trying for children, resulting in 11 miscarriages. I can say the hardest part of going through infertility is the feeling of being completely alone. Then, once I was able to get pregnant with my twins, I was almost "kicked out" of the infertility groups because I was no longer considered infertile by them because I was pregnant. However infertility is something I continue to face as my children are now old enough to ask me to give them another sister or a brother. How can I tell them that they are my miracles, and mommy can't afford another 20K to go through more IVF treatments?
I struggled with unexplained infertility (IUI and IVF) for 6 years and eventually stopped trying without ever becoming pregnant. I find that the medical community is largely focused on pregnancy achievement, but to me, an explanation or a diagnosis would have been very helpful emotionally. I ended the process feeling like a biological failure, and still have no real closure.
There are millions of children in the world who need parents and a home. I understand the need to bear your own children, but I hardly ever hear people going through fertility treatments seriously consider adoption. Yes, it takes time and mone to adopt, but so do years of treatments. If you're willing to go through emotional hell and back with in gettin, etc., you should be willing to adopt a child who's already here and needs help.
My wife and I ENTERED marriage knowing there would be fertility problems.
We explored the full spectrum of medical procedures available at that time.
BUT, at the same time, we entered the adoption processand have been very pleased with our child who is happily married; they have children of their own who are fascinated with the adoptive process and adoptive relationships.
INFERTILITY - EVEN ABSOLUTE INFERTILITY - IS NOT THE END! It can be a very fruitful beginning.
James
My husband and I went through IVF 16 years ago after going through 2 years of artificial insemination, numerous surgeries for me (I have severe endometriosis) and practically wiping out our savings. At the time (early 1990's) our insurance covered none of the treatments and only some of the procedures. In the end we adopted 2 beautiful daughters, but it left both of us drained physically, emotionally, and financially. I still struggle with issues of low self-esteem.
In response to the Dr.'s statement regarding everyone's "God given right to have children".
Speaking from experience I find it disturbing that a portion seeking fertility treatments are those who preach the will of God. However, when they find themselves unable to conceive they don't take this as a choice God made for them and turn to science. Dogma they say they don't ascribe to when it comes to proreation and all the political firestorms (family planning choices being one) waiting below the tip of this iceberg. Yes, adoption is a challenge. Perhaps God put this there to develop your character? But we want it now.
Please let this discussion open the minds of those who want to close doors for others, but keep it open for the own decisions of their body. For the record, I'm a registered Independent.
My forty year old daughter just became pregnant with twins through IVS. Her situation was complicated because she has polycistic ovaries syndrome and her husband had low sperm count. Her insurance did not cover all expenses, just the medications.
This was not an easy endeavor, emotionally and physically it takes a toll on a couple. Their great desire to have a child and their love for each other made this miracle to happen.
My sister in law is going through this and it has been miserable to everyone in the family. She and her husband have spent nearly $60,000 out of pocket and their marriage is on the rocks because of it.
No one is pressuring her to have a child and we are supportive but she doesn't want to talk about it. Her husband is being dragged into this and all the while her IVF specialist is taking their money to no avail.
Lastly, giving birth to children is a God given gift, not a right. This amount of medical intervention is overwhelming. The cost of IVF puts a lot a pressure on a woman to keep trying to have a child to their emotional and financial detriment. It is just modern-day robbery and mental abuse.
I have two thoughts to share, as someone who has dealt with infertility. One, accupuncture helped tremendously in dealing with the emotions of infertility. Second, we would have loved to adopt, but there was no money for that. Our insurance company paid for 4 rounds of Clomid, 4 rounds of injectables, and 2 cycles of IFV, and would have paid more if we had chosen. There is something wrong with that system. Thanks so much for telling this story.
I was wondering if they are going to talk about environmental and dietary habits linked to infertility. I went through many infertility tests which we had our first child. With my second child I did not have to go any infertility treatment and got pregnant 5 months later fter I had my first child. I truly believe that it was because I completely changed my diet. I started as a vegan and for three weeks I decided to go for the raw food diet( fruits, vegetables, nuts, etc) and I got pregnant with my second child during that time. A good diet is the cure for many health problems.:)
My husband and I went through infertility and tried everything from clomid to IVF and frozen cycles. My friends and sisters-in-law were getting pregnant literally at the rate of once a month. It was awful, but I am now mother to two adopted children. I wish I had gotten off the fertility treadmill much earlier.
As the doctor said, the goal is having a family and being a parent. I think reproductive doctors should do more to lead patients to adoption. It's a beautiful choice and you are pregnant for 9 months, but a parent forever. My son and daughter know that they didn't grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart. I look at them with amazement that from all the souls in the world, we found each other. Adoption is AMAZING. Infertility is soul-crushing.
I was struck speechless when your panelist complained about insurance companies that cover emergency care but not infertililization treatments. Given the number of people who live year to year without health insurance, surely they have a more pressing case for our attention and our sympathies?
I think that we really need to start talking about the facts of human biology. It is a fact that fertility in the human female experiences a drastic drop off after about 35. Add to that the artificial suppression of fertility for between 10-20 years and it should come as no surprise that becoming pregnant is extremely difficult. If a woman chooses not to become pregnant by the biological cut off, it shouldn't be treated as a medical condition merely a fact of biology. It needs to be made more clear that there is a biological limit and the consequences of putting off childbearing. IVF and other treatments are all to often thought of as a way to skirt the laws of nature. We should be looking at policies that exist in this country that force women to choose between having children and a career.
I sympathize with people who must be deeply, deeply disappointed with the inability to conceive. However, I really get frustrated with the idea that insurance should be covering the cost. I would love to see a day when everyone has full coverage for everything they'd like to do, but the fact is that insurance is a system in which people pay in to cover the cost of things that are needed. The system is so broken right now that people with life threatening diseases cannot get appropriate care. I can't get my head around the idea that resources should be further diverted to non-essential costs.
While I do not want to minimize the pain experienced by women who are unable to bear their own children, as I listen to them describe their anguish I can't help but think of all the terrible suffering people are experiencing in the world, including unwanted and unloved children.
Isn't wanting children about the children? About loving and raising and caring for another life? Why is being pregnant so important, especially when the huge amounts of money spent on having one's own biological children could improve the lives of so many who have so little.
Is this feeling of being biological failures really a response to society valuing women based solely on their ability to bear children?
I can't tell you how much I echo the comments on here about those who encourage adoption. So I can't have a baby.... I can't run a marathon or swim the English Channel or whatever. Your body is still a gift, accept it for what it is and reach out for what you CAN do. 147 Million children in the world need homes... when my husband and I married, we took each other's hands and said "we will form a family". We then adopted our daughter and said the same thing - adoption is not "the last choice" or a "consolation prize". (My insurance also did not cover ANY of our adoption fees). I wish I could better discuss all the moral issues here and just positively express the joy of the adventure of adoption.
Thank you!
My husband and I have a son and were not able to conceive another. People always said to me, "Well at least you have your son." I believe this thinking made us less agressive because it made us feel we should have been content and happy with what we have. I did get pregnant once after our failed IVF and it just so happened to coincide with my neighbor and sister getting pregnant, I lost the pregnancy while they both delivered healthy babies - you talk about uncomfortable situations. :)
There is not always a "resolution." I spent my 30s trying to have a child. The science isn't there yet for women with "premature ovarian failure," and there is little work going on in this field. Yet the doctors were happy to take my money for their hocus pocus. The process just about destroyed my marriage, estranged me from my fertile friends, and has left me bitter and with no family in my 40s.
It's been 30+ years since my husband and I experienced infertility and while I'm over all the feelings I experienced way back when ... listening to your pragram ... I can still relate to what your guests are feeling. It's heartbreaking when you're in the "trying" stage and "everyone else" is pregnant. ~ We adopted our children, and I too, feel the same as your first caller ... I thank God for having NOT been able to give birth, because I wouldn't have MY two children - both adopted. - We have a beautiful family, and NOW we have grandchildren. I wouldn't change a thing!
But I STILL remember the pain and ... baby showers. Your guest is smart to not attend.
Best wishes to your guests.
Wow your sympathy is apparently not grounded within the fact that you've experienced any difficulties. Please don't make a comment unless you've been there.
I have to agree with the previous caller. I feel our infertility was a blessing. Yes, it was an incredibly painful journey. But out of that journey came some of my closest/dearest friends. These are women that I met through our Resolve support group.
After several IUI & IVF treatments, we reached our limit. We hit that burnout where we didn't want to live 2 weeks at a time. Becoming parents was much more important that the actual pregnancy. So we moved on to adoption. Some would ask why we didn't go that route first. Well, we weren't ready to take that step. It's also a very personal decision. We were blessed with 2 beautiful children through the miracle of adoption. These are the children that were meant for us. And I wouldn't change that journey we took to become their parents for anything. Again, yes, it was a very painful journey. But out of that journey came my dear friends and my children. It also makes me more willing to reach out to those who are struggling now and say, "Hey, you're not alone! Infertility stinks! (And that's putting it nicely.) But you have people to lean on!" So, don't be afraid to reach out. Sometimes all those folks need is a simple ear or just a hug.
I told my son that families come in all different sizes and that we are a family of 3. And that we like the size of our family. He has lots of only children friends and cousins. Also, after seeing his cousins fighting he has said he is okay with being the only. I wouldn't go into not being able to afford another. Just talk about the miracle of their birth and this is the family you have. Even parents who haven't had to deal with these issues have this conversation when they've decided on the size of their family. My sister-in-law keeps having kids and her older ones don't want her to have more.
Now I have to figure out how and when to tell him that he is here because of someone wanting us to have a family so she gave us the precious gift of egg donation. We started his story when he was little and asking questions about where babies come from that some parents need help in getting a baby. Now he is 9 and I have explained the mechanics, and have reintroduced the concept of some people need help.
Hope this helps.
My niece had a beautiful baby girl two months ago by adopting a frozen embryo (snowflake baby) and having it implanted. It entails some of the ivf treatments but uses an otherwise unneeded embryo that has been "banked" by another couple who no longer needed the embryo. Seems like it might be easier to conceive this way.
I really hope you'll ask a question that is on a lot of our minds - I can understand the emotional pain of not being able to conceive, but having children is not a requirement of life. Why does it cost so much for these treatments? And why should insurance or society bear the costs? What about having more treatment for infertile couples to help them explore the options of not parenting or adopting?
I want to stress that I am sympathetic to the pain of this for women and men. I just feel that my struggle with my child's mental illness is not something I asked for, but I have to learn to live with it. If I had been infertile, I would have had to do the same.
As a woman in a same-sex relationship, I turned to infertility professionals to help build our family. We were lucky enough to have twins through our first IVF cycle, but this was after many failed cycles of IUI. One of the biggest challenges for us was the restrictions around using known donors. We found out that one can use fresh sperm from their husband or sex partner but a known donor for a lesbian couple or single woman must test and quartantine his sperm for 6 months. This time lag was a huge hurdle for us as we were dealing with early ovarian failure and time was of the essence. It seems that many of the fertility protocols are still set up with married couples in mind and they need to move forward to embrace a more diverse view of family.
Dear Preziveli -
This is so sad to hear. What I've learned through my experiences is that life is never what you expect it to be. There are doors closed and open all the time. Have hope. Open your eyes, find the open doors and walk through. I wish you peace in your heart.
I agree that there are many other priorities for insured medical healthcare before we pay for IVF.
And as the caller is saying, those costs are substantially higher throughout the pregnancy and birth because of the higher risks.
IMy wife and I hadfertility issues. When I got marriedat age 25, my mother pulled me asside and told me thatin the early 1950's Thalidamide &several other medications were administeredfor morning sickness . She said she had beengiven one (not Thalidamide) that 20 should years later proved tocause smaller testicles t
in males. She indicatedis that ifshould we hadhave difficulty, to seekblack help. We did