David Goldman: "A Father's Love"
http://thedianerehmshow.org/shows/2011-05-11/david-goldman-fathers-love
David Goldman and his Brazilian wife, Bruna, led what appeared to be a happy life in New Jersey. Then, in June 2004, Bruna took their young son Sean to Brazil for what she said would be a two-week vacation. Once there, she told her husband she was staying in South America – and keeping Sean. Her actions set in motion an international firestorm that reached the highest levels of the U. S. and Brazilian governments. Both Secretary of State Clinton and President Obama would intervene before the standoff came to an end. It would be nearly five years before David Goldman saw Sean again. He talks with Diane about his battle to bring his son home.
Guests
David Goldman
advocate to prevent international child abduction
Congressman Christopher Smith
U. S. House of Representatives (R-New Jersey)
Author Extra: David Goldman Answers Your Questions
Mr. Goldman stayed after the show to answer a few more questions.
Q: I have the opposite problem. I am originally from Cameroun and I'm planning to take my 6 year old daughter visit my parents in Africa this summer. My ex-wife is concerned and is against this trip. How do I reassure my ex-wife that I have no intention whatsoever to keep her daughter away from her? Should I contact the State Department in advance to calm her fears?
- From Omar via Email
A: I would advise you to seek legal counseling. If you can, try to get mirror orders from courts in both countries that have a limited or specific duration of travel. Speak to an international attorney or someone who has expertise in legal issues focused on children. Speak to the State Department to see if they can recommend anyone within Cameroon who can help you if you need it. Thank you and good luck.
Q: My understanding was that she was from a rich and prominent family in brazil...does David think that she missed the old lifestyle she had enjoyed and in the end didn't care to live the comparatively modest life in new jersey? I really admire david for his tireless efforts on behalf of his child.
- From Anne via Email
A: That’s an absolute possibility. She did say that in Brazil, she is “known.” We were just a typical family raising a child and perhaps she did want that sort of socialite lifestyle that she had in Brazil. But I’ll never truly know if that was the reason. Thank you for your question and thank you for your support.
Q: I have yet to hear an explanation as to exactly what had been motivating the mother's family to keep Mr. Goldman away from his son and to retain custody of his son in violation of court orders. Please explain why the mother's family had so strenuously ensured that Mr. Goldman could not take his son home for so long. - From Andrew via Facebook
A: It’s all been answered and it’s all in the courts. If you take a look at our Website, you can research court documents there and look at other opinions. We’re also helping other families there. Because of my wife and her family’s social status in Brazil, which they were open to the media about, they considered me some poor gringo. How could a wealthy, powerful family lose and not get what they want, and allow some gringo to win? For them, it was never about Sean – as evidenced when they paraded him through two blocks in Rio right before I brought him home. That’s something that still haunts him.
Q: Several listeners asked if there is a way to donate to other families who are in the midst of similar custody battles.
A: For anyone who wants to know more about the actions and efforts we’re putting forward to help other families who live and breathe this tragedy of having child abducted, please visit our Website. Thank you very much for your support and attention.
Read an Excerpt
From A Father's Love. Copyright 2011 by David Goldman. Excerpted by kind permission of Viking.
Comments
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I am also a victim of international parental abduction. You can see my website at www.willsonassociates.org. I believe the reporters interviewing Mr. Goldman on their programs are leaving out a few questions. First of all, why did the wife run and not come back? How is it that she died from childbirth? At first they stated in the media that she died in the hospital and then she died at home according to the court documents? How come Mr. Goldman does not have all the evidence from his case posted on his website? Why is it when one tries to call the court house to verify the records and the evidence in his case, we find the case is on lock down. We are missing her side of the story. Someday, hopefully, the son will be able to tell us the truth. I have looked into many cases of this nature, and from what I can tell, this woman may have been victimized twice by two men. Mr. Goldman himself and her new husband in Brazil. Both of them may not be the ideal man. What don't we know? How far fetched would it be that a wanna-be actor/model is a narcissist that may have treated his wife badly causing her to run back to her home country? Has anyone asked that question? The woman is just simply evil because Mr. Goldman says she is? How is it that her new husband in Brazil wants this child in her belly to hand over to his grandparents? Why didn't she die in a hospital? Mr. Goldman may be truly innocent, but he may not. He is a man who has sought the spot light as a career. Now he has it. The reason very few American children kidnapped abroad are not returned is not due to the lack of enforcement alone. It is also due to the corrupt Central Authority as well as the funding act that provides the Office of Children's Issues of the US State Department $100,000 per child, per year for every American child held abroad in these cases. This comes directly from our conversations with the State Department personally.
An American Mother
Dawn Willson
dawnkwillson@gmail.com
David Goldman is telling his version of the story, of course. Let us not forget there's always three versions: yours, mine and the true one.
Bruna did something wrong, of course, when she took Sean to Brazil without confronting David. But David had always been a loser while married with Bruna. But now this model-wanna-be is getting his fame by publishing a book on the so "kidnapping" of his own son.
In a long run, Sean would have been much happier in Brazil with his maternal grandparents and half-sister than he'd been living with this paranoic man. My opinion!
David's ex wife sounds like a love addict. I watched my mom transform into three different people over her lifespan as she completely changed her values, hobbies and personal style to adapt to each different husband.
This is so upset for lovers and married couples. I have an international love story. What an difficult situation for him, her and their child. I hope that they can find a middle way to make each other satisfied in the name of their beautiful days, how they have loved and respected each other many years ago. In a very limited life period, i wish my best to respect each other again.
I think that all those high profile cases of international abductions are overshadowing the domestic problems of abductions.
After some marital problems, my ex wife tricked me into believing that she was going to return to our home in VA with our daughter, but decided to hire a lawyer in NC before telling me she was not going to come back.
Now in spite of an "amicable" agreement that gives me joint custody, she violates all my rights and gives me continuous problems in talking to my daughter over the phone, in being part of decision making (which she does by herself if she can get away with it, without telling me of course) or in visiting with her. She has refused to meet with the coordinator who resigned and the NC courts in Charlotte seem to not fully support the proper environment to help keep some amount of fairness. In other words, there is a shortage of coordinators and the laws that are supposed to make things easier, especially at a distance, are simply partially ignored.
If the laws that would prevent taking children across state lines were better and enforced, then it would already make things easier. If the states would fully support programs intended to make it more fair on both parties, it would be easier, but instead, people get away with domestic kidnapping, and with ownership of the child at distance, they control at least 90% of that child's life.
Possession and money are the rule, not what's fair or good for the child.
I only want what's good for my child, but the truth is that money and possession are really what rules. We need to talk about our domestic problems and give that more attention in order to allow for the problems to be fixed and the laws to be applied in order to keep mother's from pushing the father's out of the children's life. When mothers put the need for the child to see their friends more than their fathers and when the use after school activities to deny visitation, objectives are clear.
All these comments can be boiled down into a massive case of "he said/she said": the women believe the mother is the victim, the men say it's the father. What about the child!?
In every case of abduction the law is being broken. The paramount concern of the law should be for the child. My view is that in all these cases we should take our cue from Solomon (and from Bertolt Brecht's The Caucasian Chalk Circle): the child should go to the one who will be good for it - and in disputes like this I often think that should mean neither parent!
Meanwhile, this is just another item added to the ever growing list of reasons I'm grateful I had the wisdom to realize I should never be a parent. There's more to being a father or a mother than just producing a child!
Apparently, people who are against Mr. Goldman have not spent the time to thoroughly go through ALL of the official documents of his case. That includes the documents from the Brazilian Courts. And they haven't listened to this particlar broadcast either. The documents can be found at BringSeanHome.org
As far as Mr. Goldman being in the spotlight at this point, that spotlight also shines on the other children and parents who have had their children abducted, either internationally or domestically. Do you think that any of us would be having this conversation at this point if it weren't for his case? Do you think anyone would have learned what they have, are still, and will be learning about this subject. I highly doubt it, unless it happened to you personally. Mr. Goldman could have easily disappeared from view. He has instead choosen to become an advocate for all other left behind parents (LBP's), using his case to help gain attention to this subject, and hopefully to get abducted children back to their parents.
As to Bruna's death, the doctor in attendance has been sued by the Brazilian family for malpractice. I do not believe it was malpractice, but an unfortunate event.
Mr. Goldman has never spoken an inappropriate word about his late ex-wife, her mother or her "new" Brazilian husband, who were ALL accomplices to the kidnapping.
Thank you for your time and attention
David's wife may well have had a personality disorder, such as Narcisistic Personality disorder. Typically these folks come on initially with great charm, beauty, and intelligence, tell their love interests whatever it is that will endear them, and they can then can turn on a dime and rationalize actions which serve only their own self-interest. They demonize anyone who questions their motives, and project characteristics of their own shortcomings onto their perceived enemies.
This type of personality could rationalize taking a parent away from a child.
wish there were more details about the Brazilian side.
I would like to hear more of the mother's story. However, it is clear that she did not have her son's interest at heart when relocating him so far away from his father. She did not need to stay with his dad and could have waited for her son to be grown to move to back to Brazil. What it seem is she fell in love with another man and selfishly moved to be with him without thinking about her son's relationship to his father. I am a product of a broken family. My father was not perfect, but I know there was also a lot of brainwashing from mother as she tried to take us away from my father and go by our new rich engineer stepdad's (whom later divorced her) last name. I found a way to love both my parents and all of my family, but it was a huge struggle that still haunts me into adulthood. I hope for Sean that this will be possible as well.
valerie.job
You can find information about the case at www.BringSeanHome.org. Click on "Goldman Case". You will see what both U.S. and Brazilian Judges said about the case. You will also find links to many of the videos and news releases that the abducting family have had.
It's interesting that Ms. Willson is "is also the chief investigator for legislation requiring U.S. Federal judges to hear cases of International Abduction under the Hague Convention Treaty". Mr. Goldman is also working for the cause of getting countries to comply with the Hague Convention.
Also, that she is "now publishing her own literary memoir about her
story", which is what Mr. Goldman has done, but she is criticiziing him for doing so.
I'm Braziian and have heard both sides. I read the Brazilian news as well as heard the boy's maternal granparents speaking.
The ideal thing to do would be to hear both parties. Some people here suggest others look for further information on the bringseanhome.org. Oh my god! People are not that naive to look for aditional information in a page created by David Goldman, right? Yes, I'm right, of course. If not, I will have to agree with a friend who says that most Americans are easy to buy into an idea. I hope he was wrong.
This is what Bruna's family claim: She was born in a very wealthy family but that's not her fault, we'd agree. When she married David in the USA, she had to work to support her family. And that was ok with her at the beginning. The problem is that David NEVER EVER worked while they were married. He stayed home. He wanted to be a model. He didn't have a job. Bruna wanted to keep her marriage but realized after FOUR years living with David that he was doomed to be unemployed or something.
When she went to Brazil, it was for vacation, yes. But being back home with a wealthy family is hard for anyone, especially because she had tried really hard.
Now, in my opinion it was wrong (I said that in my first comment) that she decided to keep her son i Brazil. But she did. And according to her parents, David never complained about it. Four years later she died giving birth to another child, and now David wants his son back. Out of the blue.
After listening to Diane Rehm show, I got the impression that it might have been his new girlfriend idea. But who knows.
Yes, I agree that Brazil is slow when it comes to law enforcement. But David finally had Sean back.
Sean's grandmother has done everything she can to speak to her grandchild, even traveled to the USA many times, and David never let her see the child.
I'm skeptical about David. Bruna is dead. So, we can't really hear her version. But people, try to hear both sides!
'According to her family, David never worked'.....
FACT: David was and still is a fisherman. He is guilty of not wearing a suit and working 9-5.
FACT: David filed a Hague Petition in 2004 and there are numerous court proceedings between the time Bruna abducted Sean to when she died.
FACT: Never once did Bruna accuse David of anything, and she is on record as saying he was a wonderful father.
FACT: It was not until Bruna's death in 2008 that David's case got the attention it deserved. That is not his fault!
FACT: BSH was started by friends of David who wanted to try and help him with his case.
Let's face the truth here folks. David had no chance in the courts of Brazil while Bruna was alive. It didn't matter that he had international law on his side. She was the mom, she was the Brazilian national, so Sean stayed. After her death, the maternal family knew they were screwed, because David was the sole surviving parent. They had to start fighting even nastier. Bruna had kept David from Sean because he refused to acknowledge Brazil's authority to decide the case and agree to her terms, now he was being kept from his child because that refusal translated into abandonment?
It took me a while to join BSH because as a mother, my first instinct was to doubt David. After reading all the FACTS - yes facts, and reading all the courts rulings, it became very easy for me to trust that David is the only one in this entire saga who loved Sean unselfishly.
He will be in debt quite a while, so those who think this book will bring him riches are sadly mistaken. I'm sure you will see him on his boat for years to come - earning a living.
daisy-lady, since you seem interested in learning all of the background on this case and claim that the documents on the Bring Sean Home website were put there by David Goldman, I have a suggestion for you. Let's start by reading the most recent court decisions in the case in both Brazil and the US. After you read through them, let us know what you think.
US court decision, Feb 2011:
http://s.conjur.com.br/dl/decisao-corte-jersey-negando.pdf
Brazilian court decision (return order), June 2009:
http://bringseanhome.org/English-Translation-of-Judge-Pinto-Ruling-with-...
Daisy-lady.. You have been so misinformed about the case. Please brush up on the case. First of all, Bruna had 4 years to state her side of the story before she dies. There is none.. other than she wanted to go back to her "fairytale" life in Brazil. Since she had 4 years to state her case and she didn't (and she had her opportunity to do so) we can only conclude she wanted to go back to Brazil and live the spoiled rich life (until Karma spoke!). All the court documents prove David's side of the story . Please go to BSHF.org and brush up on the facts and it will be easy to see David's story. Again, let me emphasize.. Bruna had plenty of opportunities to state her side!
BTW Daisy -Lady, do you really believe the Lins e Silva and the Bianchi lies (what you have read in the Brazilian papers)?